College Football Hand Signs That Should Be Banned

Hand Signals Are Dumb

On his coach's show Tuesday evening, Oklahoma head coach Lincoln Riley confirmed that the Sooners have been informed that his players will not be allowed to flash the ‘Horns Down’ hand sign that has, for whatever stupid reason, become a massive trigger for Texas coaches, players and fans this year.

Fans can still do it, and so can we …

… but Oklahoma players will be penalized 15 yards for rudeness or something if they dare make their fingers into an upside down cow on Saturday.

That got us thinking about sign language, which was a weird turn of events, and ultimately begged the following question: In an effort to make sure every team in college football always feels warm and fuzzy, what other hand signs should be banned?

Here’s a list. Please take this very seriously.

1. Thumbs Down

Texas A&M has a hand sign of their own. It’s a simple thumbs up. The Aggies typically give you a thumbs up as they say, “Gig ‘em.” The whole thing is very confusing, but it is what it is.

But, whatever you do, do not give A&M fans a thumbs down. Thumbs down is meant to show displeasure or reflect poor performance. It’s rude. Don’t be rude.

2. The UV Ray

Oregon State fans make the letter “O” — sort of — with their arms. Oklahoma and Ohio State also do this on their way to other letters.

Moving forward, please refrain from inverting the “O.” It’ll look more like a U or a V or something and UV rays are harmful. I read that on a bottle of sun block once.

3. Guns Down

Oklahoma State and Texas Tech both make their hands into make-believe guns.

The first rule of gun safety is to never point the barrel of your gun at anything you do not intend to shoot. So, going “Guns Down” would be a dangerous precedent, as you’d essentially be pointing your pretend pistols at your neighbors on either side.

4. Upside Down “The U”

C’mon, you know this one. Hurricane fans make a “U” with their hands, despite the fact that Miami actually starts with an M.

Inverting a U makes it, what, like a lower case N? Nebraska already has a hand signal of their own. They don’t need a new one. Please have some respect for the Cornhuskers’ traditions.

Speaking of which …

5. Inverted Cornfinger

Nebraskans try to turn their hands into corn.

I don’t really have a joke, here. Making a vegetable hand sign just seems a bit strange.

Anyway, do not invert the Cornfinger. Corn grows out of the ground, not into the ground. If we start trying to turn corn upside down, we’ll throw off the whole agricultural scene, which will inevitably lead to unwanted trade embargoes and stuff. 

6. Upside Down Tomahawk Chop

The Atlanta Braves Florida State ignites a rally with a good ol’ tomahawk chop. It looks pretty cool when a whole bunch of people do it—not so much when someone tries to chop solo.

Inverting the tomahawk chop is actually just doing “The Robot,” and you should never, under any circumstances, do the freakin’ robot. It’s a football game, not Soul Train.

7. The Number 1

Everyone holds one finger up. This is stupid. Unless you're Alabama, you're not No. 1. In most cases, you're like No. 23. Holding up one finger is delusional at best and dishonest at worst.

Have some self-awareness. Have some character.

Should you have any questions about any of the above, please forward those inquiries to

5 Uncommitted Five-Star Prospects To Watch As Signing Day Nears

This Just In: Nakobe Dean Is Very Good At Football

With the Early Signing Period all but upon us, here’s a look at five uncommitted five-star prospects whose signatures will drastically shape who we see as winners and losers come February.

The XFL Is Back (Almost) And We Have Some Suggestions

The XFL is back. Sort of. Almost.

The 2018 FCS Bowl Rosters Have Been Finalized

2018 National Bowl Rosters Are Set

A Tradition Unlike Any Other: The Army-Navy Uniforms Are Flames Yet Again

Army and Navy unveiled their uniforms for this year's game and, as is always the case, their fresh duds did not disappointment.

The Paradoxical World Of A Dallas Cowboys Fan

Some time in the neighborhood of six decades ago, shortly after oilman Clint Murchison, Jr., outsmarted then-Washington Redskins owner George Marshall with his own fight song, my grandpa adopted the Dallas Cowboys—the only NFL team located south of D.C.—as his favorite professional football club.

So, Derek Mason Is Definitely Going To Colorado, Right?

Vanderbilt head coach Derek Mason is the latest coach rumored to be Colorado-bound, after leading the Commodores back to bowl eligibility for the second time in three seasons.

Notre Dame Will Be First Non-Nike Team In Playoff

No team that wears anything other than a Nike swoosh on its jersey has ever cracked the four-team College Football Playoff—until now.

Cover 4: Miss Terry And Her Husband Are Set To Dominate Thanksgiving

Last week—a week that will henceforth be known as “The Week of Which We Shall Not Speak”—was rough enough to make us want to withdraw what little bit of money we have left in our Bovada accounts, tuck our chins, and limp off into the bowl season.