Last week—a week that will henceforth be known as “The Week of Which We Shall Not Speak”—was rough enough to make us want to withdraw what little bit of money we have left in our Bovada accounts, tuck our chins, and limp off into the bowl season.
But, while we may be losers, we’re damn sure not quitters.
So, instead of tucking our tails just because UCF blew out Cincinnati and Mississippi State scored too much on an Arkansas squad that did just exactly what we said they’d do (nothing), we’re going to rationalize our failures and point to a big final week of the Cover 4.
Follow us to freedom.
Alabama (-24.5) vs. Auburn
Saturday, Nov. 24 at 3:30 PM CT | Bryant Denny Stadium, Tuscaloosa, Ala.
Auburn won’t be able to run it. Jarrett Stidham will be under constant pressure. And, those two things, ladies and gentlemen, spell absolute doom for the Tigers on the road.
Alabama rarely has the opportunity to seek out revenge, but that opportunity exists, here. And, while this is an Auburn defense that is strong in its front seven, it can be exposed a bit on the back end. That’s where Tua comes in.
Alabama rolls on Saturday in one of the most lopsided Iron Bowls in recent memory.
The Pick: Terry Saban hosts a Thanksgiving Day feast for the ages. Then, Nick leads the Tide to the SEC Championship without incident.
West Virginia (+2.5) vs. Oklahoma
Friday, Nov. 23 at 7 PM CT | Milan Puskar Stadium, Morgantown, W.V.
What, you thought we’d stay away from this one in our house divided?
Bratke has not commandeered the keyboard for this pick. Scout’s honor. This game against this offense in this spot is a real problem for this Oklahoma defense.
The Sooners couldn’t stop Kansas a week ago. Absolutely nothing has changed since Oklahoma dismissed Mike Stoops in favor of Ruffin McNeal. This is the most atrocious OU defense we’ve seen since John Blake was patrolling the sidelines in Norman.
Oklahoma has everything to play for and, yet, taking this group of defenders to Morgantown for a must-win against Dana Holgorsen, Will Grier and Jake Spavital is an abject disaster waiting to happen.
The Pick: Take the over. Even it’s 100. The football teams are about to score more on Nov. 23 than the basketball teams will put up on Feb. 2.
Kentucky (-17) at Louisville
Saturday, Nov. 24 at 6 PM ET | Cardinal Stadium, Louisville, Ky.
If you’re hoping for a big, grandiose explanation here, well, sorry.
Louisville is a trainwreck. Louisville can’t stop anyone. Kentucky is good enough to take advantage of both of those things.
Benny Snell will run wild and the Kentucky defense will eviscerate that bad, recurring experiment that Louisville calls an offense. ‘Cats by a million.
The Pick: In the spirit of the holiday season, Kentucky will cover Louisville’s postgame Papa John’s order of 98 Sad Urban Meyer Personal Pan Pizzas.
Michigan (-4.5) at Ohio State
Saturday, Nov. 24 at 11 AM ET | Ohio Stadium, Columbus, Ohio
We keep hearing about how Ohio State is a good team that just keeps playing bad. Hell, last week, we took the bait.
Could it be that Ohio State is, instead, simply a slightly above average team that continues to play slightly above average?
Meanwhile, Michigan is potent on offense an absolute nightmare to deal with on defense—and the Buckeyes have yet to consistently display an ability to cope with either.
No one needs a win more on Saturday than Jim Harbaugh needs this win against this opponent with these stakes. And, quite frankly, Urban Meyer and Ohio State sure seem ripe for the picking.
The Pick: Michigan rolls harder than your mother’s dinner rolls.