EXCLUSIVE: Santa Reveals Top Items On 10 Coaches’ Christmas Lists
EXCLUSIVE: Santa Reveals Top Items On 10 Coaches’ Christmas Lists
As part of an ongoing partnership between FloFootball and Santa Claus, we’ve obtained the Christmas lists for 10 of the top coaches in college football.
As part of an ongoing partnership between FloFootball and Santa Claus, we’ve obtained the Christmas lists for 10 of the top coaches in college football.
Giving the perfect gift can be a daunting task, but if one of these gentlemen will be unwrapping a present from you during this holiday season, well, you’re welcome.
Lane Kiffin
Want: Unlimited data.
Need: Dance lessons.
Coach Kiffin stays armed with a flame thrower on Twitter, but an unlimited data package would allow him to be more fiscally responsible while he trolls Nick Saban.
We finally got @Lane_Kiffin out of his shell pic.twitter.com/IBLRU4I9C8
— FAU Football (@FAU_Football) December 20, 2017
Of course, after this display, it’s safe to say he really needs some dance lessons instead.
Chad Morris
Want: More hours in a day.
Need: One of those airplane neck pillow things.
Morris had a grand total of eight days between being introduced as Arkansas’ head coach and the early signing period. Arkansas’ new staff has had the #HammerDown on the recruiting trail out of necessity.
Unfortunately, you’re going to come up empty if you go shopping for more time. Instead, just get the new head Hog one of those little U-shaped airplane pillows to make his frequent flights between Fayetteville and Dallas more comfortable.
Nick Saban
Want: Anything other than a coordinator.
Need: Another coordinator.
Sure, he needs another coordinator, but he gets that every year.
Scott Frost
Want: More sleep.
Need: A winter coat.
Frost is currently meshing Peach Bowl preparations at Central Florida with recruiting at Nebraska, and he just became a brand new dad. His wife, Ashley, gave birth to the couples’ first child a little over a month ago. So, yeah, some sleep would be great.
Unfortunately, all of the melatonin in the world isn’t going to do the trick for Frost right now, so just go with a new winter coat. It's safe to say the climate in Lincoln is a little cooler than Orlando.
Mike Riley
Want: His old office.
Need: His old Oregon State gear back.
It has to be weird for Riley to go back to work in Corvallis only to find some young thunder cat making himself comfortable in his old office. But, while you might be able to swap office chairs without Beavers head coach Jonathan Smith noticing, trying to swap offices overnight might not go over as smoothly.
Instead, just regift the hand-me-down Oregon State gear that Coach Riley gave away a few years ago.
Mike Leach
Want: A pirate ship.
Need: An In-N-Out gift card — or maybe just the T-shirt.
If you really wanted to hit a home run with Leach, you’d hook him up with the keys to a brand new pirate ship. Of course, that’s a big gift and probably a little unrealistic for someone who lives in Pullman, WA.
So, if you’re not going with the Black Pearl, an In-N-Out gift card is an excellent backup plan. Just trust us.
Kirby Smart
Want: A bouquet of roses.
Need: A chip tray.
The roses are tricky because he only wants them on New Year’s Day — which, you know, is well after your gift exchange.
As an alternative, might we suggest one of those cool poker trip trays? He’s just been inundated with mounds of blue chips lately.
Willie Taggart
Want: More tweeting out of @SeminoleLifer.
Need: A realtor.
The problem with the tweets is, unless you’re @SeminoleLifer, that one’s a little outside of your control.
in Garnett & Gold!
— FSU (@SeminoleLifer) December 12, 2017
Instead, consider a realtor who can work on both coasts. For the second time in a year, Taggart is moving from one corner of the U.S. to the other.
Tom Herman
Want: Mistletoe.
Need: Reinforcements.
Texas was already going to be without Chris Warren, Connor Williams, Holton Hill, DeShon Elliott, and likely Malik Jefferson for its bowl game against Missouri on Dec. 27. Then, three more players were suspended for a violation of team rules. It's safe to say Herman’s already shorthanded Longhorns could use some reinforcements.
But, unless you can round up the ’18 recruits and get them to the Texas Bowl, that’s probably not an option. So, just go with some mistletoe. That’s always a hit.
Jimbo Fisher
Want: Jameis Winston.
Need: Some waders.
As the head coach at Florida State, Jimbo went 26-1 with Winston at quarterback and 57-22 with anyone else behind center. Unfortunately, Jameis is fresh out of eligibility and kidnapping is a felony.
We’re not sure if Texas A&M’s new ball coach is into duck hunting or not, but waders make sense regardless, considering the depth of the expectations he’s walking into in College Station.